An unexpectedly lengthy personal history of winter boots

This was a tourism poster for Germany in 1932.  But who wants to go there? 

So, Utah.  We've been known to brag that we have the "greatest snow on Earth".  Were I into winter sports, I might feel more loyal toward yon powdery peaks.  However, I am no skier and all this sickly slush is messing with my footwear situation.  Despite my 25 years of living in this state, I have no great love for winter boots (though I did once own some kick-a Minnie Mouse snow boots with a Minnie head on the zipper).

Attending Utah State required some kind of winter footwear and I felt an unnatural degree of disgust whenever I saw a girl walking about in a pair of Uggs*. Thus the only boots I own: a pair of super-puffy white moon boots that I wore every day to that wretched campus.  And I looked awesome (until I wore them so much they became less puffy).

Behold: the moon boots. 

My days of trudging along snowy campus sidewalks are far behind me and moon boots would look rather strange on a library employee.  But as I slushed about today in my Top-Siders, I realized I needed to set aside my distaste and sift through the boot category on Zappos.  And amid the gross booties and hardwear-heavy, high-heeled leather, I found a few gems:

Top row: cute white Wellies, pretty gray ankle boots with a cute oversized button, and navy suede chukkas (whatever that means).  Of this row, the grey boots are my favorite, mostly because I love the pearly-gray color.
Middle row: mid-calf leather boots with a cool wraparound zipper, gorgeous Frye riding boots that I'll never be able to afford and wouldn't be very warm anyway, and some cute ankle boots with a sweater cuff (probably the only pair I can see myself wearing on a daily basis).
Bottow row: These white Patagonia boots are basically a grown-up version of my moon boots and not at all practical, but I'm kind of in love.  They're at least three kinds of fabulous.  Next to them are some great Patagonia nature-girl boots.  And just because of brand loyalty, some Top-Sider booties, which claim to be waterproof as well as super-80s preppy.  Lastly, a pair of heeled boots that I like to imagine I would wear if I were a schoolteacher on Prince Edward Island and my name were Anne with an 'e'.
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*Uggs aren't even waterproof! They are made for surfers who don't want their feet scorched by the hot sand! Why are you wearing a Muppet on you feet if it's not even keeping them dry?! This is a rant you may have heard from me if you ever met me for lunch in the Hub during winter.