Cover Judging - Moon Awakening

But first . . . from our friends at the OED:

laird: A landed proprietor. In ancient times limited to those who held [land] immediately from the king. The southern form lord was as early as the 14th c. introduced into Scottish use in the English senses of the word.

highlander: A native of the Highlands of Scotland. Also, a soldier of a Highland regiment. First introduced in 1642 by James Howell's "Instructions for forreine travell."

So, in summation: laird rich, highlander ripped. Now that we've cleared that up . . .First Glance: My first instinct was "magical highlander." It's the background, really, that gives away the magic - the various textures layered on top of the ocean, the ethereal quality of the colors, the line drawing at the top that might be a griffin. These things all equal some sort of magic. Moving on to our hero, his chest tattoo may be magical. I'm guessing he belongs to some kind of order who claim the bear as their mascot (UC Riverside, mayhap?). Furthermore, the detailing on his boots looks pretty magical. And finally, while his ab and chest definition are impressive, I think the last word on his magical powers lies in his half-ponytail. Score: 4 out of 5

Title: Moon Awakening: Book One of the Children of the Moon - Initially, I thought Moon Awakening was meant to sound like "rude awakening." Perhaps a story about a naive young girl from a small Scottish village who meets a man who teaches her a few life lessons, most importantly how to love. They all live on the blustery moors ever after, the end. Maybe the magical element is just the magic of true love?

But then I saw the subtitle and came to the conclusion that werewolves are our magical element. Making this book a part of the apparently rich vein of were-hybrid romance. I suppose our hero is a werehighlander? Score: 3 out of 5 (for making me think it might be a pun, but then pulling the rug out with the subtitle)

Tagline: "Bestselling author Lucy Monroe introduces an enthralling new romantic tale that pushes the boundaries between love and hate, passion and pain - and man and beast."
Ummmmmmm, nope. I can see where they're going ("these things are opposites! but the story shows that they're not so different!"), but I'm not headed there with them. It's just not a very catchy tagline - it gets bogged down at the end with the weird sentence construction + overuse of the word "and." Oxford comma, friends: look it up! Score: 2 out of 5

Back-of-the-Book: I think, with this one, it will be best to just get into it:

"When Emily Hamilton's family is ordered to send a woman to the Scottish Highlands for marriage to the laird of the Sinclairs, Emily volunteers in order to save her younger sister from such a fate."

So, our brave heroine sets off for her new life as lairdess of the Sinclairs, only to find that her "stubborn streak" compels the laird of Sinclair to cancel the marriage. Emily's "stubborn streak" compels her to remain at the castle of her rejector, refusing to return home.

So, while Emily's dealing with the various effects of Stockholm Syndrome*, we learn a bit more about our hero. His name is "Lachlan (of course), laird of the Balmoral clan - and leader of his pack." So I guess that makes him a werelaird, rather than a werehighlander. Anyway, apparently he's quite villainous:

"One of the most feared werewolves prowling the Highlands, he is on the march against the hated Sinclairs . . . He kidnaps the sister of the Sinclair laird, planning to marry her off in revenge - but the woman he takes along with her proves to be the greater prize . . . "

Ugh, really? A double kidnapping? And what makes Emily the "greater prize"? She was only at the castle because she was refusing to leave - the Sinclair guy doesn't want her there. I don't see any substantial ransom coming your way, Lachlan buddy.

" . . . For Emily feeds a desire he never knew existed."

Oh. Of course. Right you are, then.

"And though Lachlan would not think of marrying a human - an English-woman at that - he must know how a mere woman could take his heart so easily . . . "

Um, because she offers you table scraps and scratches behind your ears? Score: 3.5 out of 5 (I only read the back of these novels and already I'm bored with the revenge kidnap that turns into passionate love storyline)

Final Score: 12.5 out of 20 - Moon Awakenings really should get the Steele Pendant, but I'm awarding it the Bronze Feather because of its strong showing in the First Glance category. They're lucky I'm a sucker for a magic man in a half-ponytail.

*I made the mistake of thinking I was clever with my Stockholm Syndrome joke, but apparently I've already used it in my critique of Miranda and the Warrior, a similar tale about the loving bond between kidnapper and kidnappee.

Cover Judging - On the Edge

There seems to be a correlation between the ridiculous and sci-fi romance novels - three of the five novels featured here have come from the marriage of these genres. My pile of Post-Its containing future features are over half sci-fi-mance. Many of the titles are vampire-related, a few are werewolf. I have a couple that are general magic - wizards and such.

But this one seems pretty special. I've saved it for Halloween week:First Glance: Very, very special: pretty girl in denim, leaning against an old pickup, holding a magic shotgun; disembodied floating strong-jawed head, complete with what I'm guessing are "piercing" blue eyes; sunset-y background, giving everything a nice reddish glow. Excellent, excellent work there. And the featured quote in the middle of the cover is a nice touch, too. Score: 4.5 out of 5

Title: On the Edge - I'll go with it. It could refer to a magical world whose precipice stands on the Edge; it could refer to a clandestine romance; it could refer to our heroine's emotional state. I like when I have options. Score: 3.5 out of 5

Tagline: What? No tagline! Sad day.

Back-of-the Book: Fortunately, it seems they've saved their creativity for the back of the book:

"The Broken is a place where people shop at Wal-Mart and magic is nothing more than a fairy tale."

Oooooooh, nice Wal-Mart reference. This book is clearly appealing to those of us in middle America - you know, because we all drive old pickups, own guns, and shop at the Wal-Mart. On the Edge was just published a few months ago, so TOPICAL! Points for being recession-friendly! Anyway, there's more:

"The Weird is a realm where blueblood aristocrats rule and the strength of your magic can change your destiny. "

All right. Obviously we don't like any bluebloods, and maybe in this case, "magic" is a stand-in for money or influence. OR BOTH. It's like a fable for our times or something. And here's our heroine:

" Rose Drayton lives on the Edge, the place between both worlds."

Ah, Rose. Another Rose. A delicate flower, but a flower with a built-in defense system: thorns. Never forget what Poison taught us: every Rose has its thorn. Our Rose, it seems, lives in rather dangerous circumstances:

"A perilous existence indeed, made even more so by a flood of magic-hungry creatures bent on absolute destruction."

Let's focus on this "flood of magic-hungry creatures bent on absolute destruction" as part of our economic fable. Could they be those unfortunate people who bought into the sub-prime mortgage market? Or is it another level up - are they the lenders who offered these mortgages? Or are they the ultimate evil - investment bankers? And how will our Rose defeat them? What magic will she use? Does she hold the key to bailing out the unsuspecting citizens who live in The Broken? Man, this book is taking me places I never expected. Score: 5 out of 5

Final Score: 13 out of 15 - On the Edge qualifies for the Silver Deveraux, but it was very close to the Gold. The disembodied head gets a major thumbs-up from me, as well as the apparent economic fable Ilona Andrews has crafted.

Monsters of Rock!

We had a family Halloween party this weekend. Saturday afternoon is crafty time - usually we carve pumpkins, but this year we decided to make rock monsters!

So we gathered a bunch of rocks, toothpicks, some paint, and some epoxy. Here's what we came up with:

A mad rock guy by my Dad

A guy from the Fifth Element by my uncle

The Wicked Witches East and West by two of my aunts

A big-eyed blobby monster by me

A spiky fish-monster by my sister and a battle-duck by my cousin

Thanks!

Thanks to Valérie of Bijoux Lélie for featuring my Jane necklace on her blog - check out her cute jewelry shop here! (I'm a fan of the post card necklace, btw)

Out of Context: A sentence I read on the internet.

"Judging from the winky emoticon you've added, I assume you are making a joke."

This has been another dispatch from the wide world of Internet.

Cover Judging - Leigh Greenwood's Seven Brides: Rose

One day, I am going to create a series of novels. I'm not going to write it, naturally. I'm going to create it. I need only write the first book and after that, I'm free to enjoy a rewarding life as a brand-name author. My name will be in a larger font than the actual title of the book; the series title may be larger, too. It's likely that I may insist on a possessive. I'm just in the brainstorming phase right now, but here's a mock-up of the finished product (click to make larger):
It's good, right?

Oh, and I'd like to thank the person responsible for inspiring my pursuit of this whispered-about portion of the publishing industry: Leigh Greenwood.
First Glance: Pretty standard stuff here, but it's okay to do standard if you do it well. And this cover does it well: passionate couple standing at an impossible angle (seriously, 45 degrees, at most), frilly, slightly-revealing dress for her, sunset-y background. I'm slightly confused by his Ten Commandments get-up, since I'm assuming this is one of seven brothers who won the West. I like the little miniature portrait of Rose - that's a quality detail. Overall, good job. Score: 3.5 out of 5

Title: Leigh Greenwood's Seven Brides: Rose - I pretty much covered my thoughts on this in the intro. I'm just going to add my thoughts on the series concept of Seven Brides: why not go full plagiarism and call it Seven Brides for Seven Brothers? Or even go for a higher number! Nine Brides for Nine Brothers would mean two more moneymakers sitting out on the grocery store shelves! Regardless of Ms. Greenwood's oversight in this matter, I'm giving it high marks for branding, trite concept, and the afterthought of an actual title. Score: 4 out of 5

Tag Line: "Seven brothers who won the west - and the women who tamed their hearts."
Again, pretty standard. The dude is manly, obvs, since he's out winning the West. After he's done raising the homestead, he's going to need a strong-willed woman to fight with and eventually love. Points for cramming two cliches next to each other, though. Score: 2.5 out of 5

Back-of-the-Book: Evidently, our Rose's full name is "penniless, friendless Rose Thornton." Desperate for work, Rose responds to a want ad asking for "a woman to cook, clean, and wash for seven men." Now, not only does she have means of support, but she happened to be hired by an "incredibly handsome man" named George.

"But when she first set eyes on her hero's ramshackle ranch (Alliteration!) in the wilds of the Texas brush country and met his utterly impossible brothers, Rose decided even George's earth-shattering kisses weren't compensation enough for the job ahead of her."

I wonder how that job interview went. "And regarding payment: are you willing to accept earth-shattering kisses as compensation?" I guess our girl was okay with this arrangement when she was staring at George's "incredibly handsome" face, but then she met his brothers . . .

"Never in her life had she seen a place more in need of a woman's touch, or men more in need of a civilizing influence. The Randolph brothers were a wild bunch and they weren't about to let any female change their ways . . . not until George laid down the law and then lost his heart to the beguiling spitfire who'd turned all their lives upside down."

Yep. The back of the book just summarized the entire plot for you. You're welcome! The brothers lives are turned upside down by Rose, the "beguiling spitfire," and George and Rose get together. The End. Points for the thesaurus work, though. Score: 3.5 out of 5

Final Score: 13.5 out of 20 - Leigh Greenwood's Seven Brides: Rose gets the Bronze Feather for sheer competence. Entertainingly cheesy cover, decent tag-line, and a "beguiling spitfire" of a protagonist. Good enough to place, Ms. Greenwood.

On paper . . .

One of my favorite things about fashion/home design shows is the sketches. I love it when the designer has a clear idea, sketches it out on paper, and by the end of the show . . . there it is, in real life!

I am in no way an artist - seriously. But, I can draw rudimentary little flowers, a skill I use when making my headbands. Usually, my third-grade style drawings look nothing like the finished product. But this time . . .
. . . it did!

I was so excited about it that I had to share it with somebody. So I am sharing it with you, Internet.

(necklace available here)

TV Style: Gossip Girl

You know I love Gossip Girl. And you know I love the insanely awesome style they all have. Particularly, I love it when they get preppy.

One of my daydreams about going to prep school involves the uniforms. I always picture student after student personalizing their uniform: fraying the edges, wearing their tie a certain way, going crazy with accessories. It's probably unrealistic, but hey, it's a daydream!

Anyway, this is why I loved Jenny's first-day-of-school outfit: she's playing on the pleated-skirt-and-blazer look with her cute shorts and rad vest; she's got her tie, but she's layered it with a bunch of necklaces and she's wearing aviators, one of the official sunglasses of cool. It's like my prep-school uniform daydream come to life!